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To get to the “yeses” requires going through the "noes."
Learn to enjoy the journey of going through the "noes."
A 30-year-old Chinese mother asked me how she could teach her 5-year-old daughter…
I replied,
You're not her teacher; she's your teacher.
She is much happier than you are; you need to learn from her.
She sees life through the glasses of play; learn from her how to wear those glasses.
She sees life through the glasses of curiosity; find out from her how to wear those glasses.
She sees life through the glasses of adventure. Let her teach you how to wear those glasses.
She listens to her heart; learn from her how to listen to your heart.
If you're trying to help someone (even your child) without their request or permission, you're not really helping them. And you're certainly not showing them respect.
Sleep, sit, eat, play (a little)...
My cat's life is so boring...
...and she's not bored.
It's interesting to know the rules.
But it's more valuable to know the exceptions to the rules.
To know the exceptions if they are "nature's rules."
But if they are human rules, to know what the chances of getting caught are, and, if caught, what are the consequences.
The USA delivery company UPS builds this idea into their yearly budget. Last year, nationwide, they paid $18.7 million in parking violations (just so they could deliver their packages).
In many circumstances, when people feel safer, they put themselves in more dangerous situations.
For example, many people feel too safe in their marriage ("my spouse would never leave me"). Consequently, they don't do their best to treat their spouse with respect and love. This puts their marriage more at risk.
Doctors are not health-care providers. Their purpose is not to keep you healthy. Their purpose is to try to patch you up after you've made a mess of your health. They are a last-resort measure after you have ignored maintaining the first-resort measures for good health.
Super good nutrition and a healthy, happy life-style will keep you out of the doctor's office. If you think you have to go to the doctor, it's a major wake-up call that you probably haven't been taking care of yourself very well and you need to do everything you can so that you never need to see a doctor again.
If our computer is not giving us the response that we want, we are likely to assume 100% responsibility by asking ourselves, "What do I need to do to either accept the response I am getting from my computer or to change my behavior so that I get the response that I want?"
In contrast, when dealing with people, we often don't assume 100% responsibility (thinking that the other person should be at least 50% responsible). As a result, when we don't get the response we want from that person, we blame them and make the problem even worse.
We are taught never to treat others as "objects." But, it turns out that we're actually more responsible when dealing with objects than when dealing with people. Maybe treating others as "complex objects" would be much better for all concerned (including the "objects") than when we treat them as "humans."
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
Because getting results is so important, I make sure it always stays as my SECOND priority.
My FIRST priority is ensuring that I enjoy the process of whatever I am doing.
In the big picture, someone who is enjoying the processes of whatever they are doing is likely to get better and more results than someone who is tolerating the processes.
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