Invariably, we treat others as we treat ourselves.

Therefore, if you have difficulties in your relationships with others, it's likely that you'll have difficulties in your relationships with yourself.

In general, if you learn to be your own best friend, your relationships with others will be good also.

Therefore, your first "job" in life is to be best friends with yourself...most everything else will follow from this.

These questions (I'll give you three) will likely require that you choose courage to ask them.

You will also need to do your best to help the other person to feel safe in answering candidly, like you're doing scientific research.

"What do you like about me?"

"What do you dislike about me or is there anything I ever do that bothers you?"

"You know how you know things about others that they probably don't know about themselves...like they are not a very good listener. I realize that I may not know things about myself that you're aware of. I would very much appreciate if you could tell me how I occur for you (and maybe to others) that I might not be aware of myself? It would be valuable to me if I became aware of something like that."

It's very important, in asking these questions, that you don't get defensive or try to explain yourself. Just stay curious.

I find these questions so much fun and I sometimes learn something new about how I occur for others.

Happiness is our birthright...we can see this in children; they are naturally happy.

But our children learn to resist what is...they grow up to believe in good and bad, in shoulds and should nots.

This resistance (which becomes automatic) creates suffering and masks over our natural happiness.

And yet we're all still trying to be happy. But trying to be happy doesn't work very well. It's just more resistance to what is.

The key to happiness is to learn to un-resist, to un-learn our antagonism to what is, especially to un-resist our fear...

...to make friends with our fear and allow it to give us energy and confidence.

When we are able to let go of our resistance, to let go of our expectations that people and things (and ourselves) should be different than the way that they are and we are, then happiness and peace is what remains.

Let's just focus on the issue of tariff and immigration restrictions, not considering other ways that Americans are screwed by their government.

One of the major reasons I live in China is that I can "import" what I want to buy (in terms of labor and goods) without these American restrictions.

Using a detailed Excel spreadsheet, I calculated that it would cost me four-to-five times more if I tried to maintain the same lifestyle in America that I have in China.

This means that, broadly speaking, Americans are getting screwed by that amount (over 400%) because their government maintains (and is now increasing) major tariffs and immigration restrictions, especially against all those peoples in countries (like China, Nepal, Vietnam, India, etc.), where the people would be thrilled to give Americans a better deal, if they were allowed to.

99% of your thoughts, attitudes, and feelings are just the machinery of the mind. It is automatic. You made no choice about it. It just happens.
If you notice that you are resisting the machinery or blaming the machinery, that is just more machinery fighting with the machinery.
See if you can just observe the machinery, watch the machinery, having compassion and even understanding of the machinery.

Chinglish…

One of my friends said, "My health is not very convenient."

Humans have two divergent ideas about what is fair (probably both coded into our DNA). This divergence accounts for much of the conflict in the world, both personally and politically.
The first idea of fairness is people should be given to according to equality and need.
The second idea is that people should be given according to merit, reflecting how they have contributed to others (as judged by voluntary exchange and agreement).
If we think the second way (of fairness) is more important than the first way, then large disparities will occur because some people (e.g. successful entrepreneurs) have found ways to contribute to others (as judged by others in their voluntary exchanges for the products and services that the entrepreneurs offer).
If we think that the first way (of fairness) is more important than the second, we will moralize that the rich should give to the poorer to make up for what they have gotten in comparison with others (because what they have gotten is not equal and it is not "according to need"). And they should do this because it is "fair" and/or do this because they have to (through taxes or other government regulations).
People who lean the second way will favor a market economy and attitude. People who lean the first way will favor a government supported welfare, more socialistic economy.
People who lean the second way will think that each of us should bear the consequences of our own individual circumstances, actions, and choices (both good and bad).
People who lean the first way will think that we are "our brother's keeper" and we should bear the consequences of individual circumstances, actions, and choices more collectively.

I often read arguments that people provide about why we should act unselfishly. However, in all the arguments I have heard, I have never found an argument yet that doesn't justify "unselfishness" by point to selfish results. The only distinction is that it is usual a difference between acting with only short-term interests in mind, compared to considering also long-term selfish interests. But whether short-term or long-term, the justification is still to be selfish.
If the writers were more careful in their arguments, they would not be arguing against selfishness; they would be arguing to keep in mind long-term selfishness, not just short-term selfishness.