It may just be coincidence. Yet I find two quite distinction conditions in the USA interestingly aligned, both of which are an expression of tribalism (my tribe against yours).

Trump is a tribalist in his anti-immigration and anti-free trade policies.

Coincidently, perhaps more than the citizens of most other nations, Americans believe in "stranger danger," totally missing the fact that, if there's any danger, it's from people you know (maybe we should say something like, "kinship, buggy whip."

Why do we design our lives without money and time buffers?


It's because we put results first (over making sure we can enjoy the process).

With "results first" we want to get all those things (that we can't yet afford). Consequently, we have no money buffers.

With "results first" we want to pack more into our life to feed our ego (and how we think we look to others). Consequently, we have no time buffers.

I find that many "great" quotes that are accepted as gospel by most people are, at best, half-truths. As such they often incur more costs than benefits.

Take as an example just one of all the "great" quotes about persistence: "If you’re going through hell, keep going” by Winston Churchill.

Yes, persistence can provide many benefits. But it can also incur many horrific costs.

My mother believed in persistence and, because of that she stayed married to a man she didn't love and didn't respect for 41 years before she finally got a divorce.

The leaders of the American government believed in persistence and continued in the Vietnam war for 20 years before they finally had the sense to quit.

Perseverance is good in some situations, but quitting (quitaverance) is much better in others. We should be taught this and taught how to know when one is better than the other.

Just a click or search away on the Internet! Just a request away of a friend, colleague, or stranger! Just a book away to be read! Just a new question away to ask yourself!

A whole new life awaits you to be discovered and created!

It's great to have plans. I like plans. But, even with the best planning, sometimes God's plan differ from ours and She doesn't make that obvious to us until the last minute.

Our default reaction is to get upset that Her plan's are interfering with ours.

It's much better to get curious about Her plans. Ask the questions, "Is there a way that Her plans might turn out better than what I had planned?"
"What might be the gift in this? Or, how could a turn this into a gift?"
"How could I see this as an adventure?"

Everything has costs and benefits. And that includes "wasting things," which could, given the circumstance, including significant benefits.

"Wasting time" could provide benefits of feeling more relaxed, finding time to play and enjoy the process, getting better sleep, and sometimes even doing a better job at something.

"Wasting food" could provide benefits of eating less (not finishing everything on your plate), throwing away unhealthy food, saving your time, or giving some cosmetic benefits.

"Wasting money" could provide benefits of saving time, getting higher quality, or being able to experiment to find new options and to take calculated risks.

You can find hundreds of books and thousands of quotes on the value of persistence. Virtually no one is rooting for the value of quitting (giving up).

But giving up can often be the best choice and a great choice of courage.

My mother believed in "always persistence." Even though she suspected she made a mistake after the first two days of marriage, she stayed married to a man she didn't love and didn't respect until she finally divorced him 41 years later.

The U.S. government persisted in the Vietnamese War for 20 years, killing 50,000 soldiers and millions on Vietnamese before finally giving up.

How much cost have you incurred in your life when you should have given up and you didn't? Is there anything you're persisting in right now that might be a good choice of courage to give up on? Are you willing to choose courage to quit?

You'll never catch up (maybe with one thing, but not with everything). For every one thing you choose to do, there are thousands that you cannot do.

When you prioritize results over enjoying the process and dancing the journey, then you'll consistently run into a brick wall, most often feeling a sense of dissatisfaction, "it's not enough," and "when will my life ever turn out?"

You must flip the fundamental priority. Yes, results are nice, even essential, but they must remain in second place. Your first priority, moment and moment and day by day, is to love the process and dance the journey.

Surprisingly, in the big picture, you'll probably get more results with this priority than when you put "results first."

Create the new fundamental habit, step by step: Process First!

Most often when reality (or others) surprise us (it doesn't go the way we planned or expected), we get upset. We get upset with reality, we get upset with others, or we get upset with ourselves.

But that happens. That risk (the risk of reality surprising you) is an integral part of your life. Life would not be life without that risk.

Just know that sometimes (either more or less often) reality will surprise you. You can either take that as "something that shouldn't happen" or you can get curious about it. You can even ask yourself. "How could this be an adventure?" or "I wonder what might be the gifts in this?"

Do you know the “hardest” problem?


The "hardest" problem (and the most important problem to solve first) is to find ways to solve problems without it being hard.

For example:
How to keep fit without it being hard?
How to eat healthfully without it being hard?
How to quit smoking without it being hard?
How to earn a living without it being hard?
How to have great relationships without it being hard?
How to make requests without it being hard?
How to say "no" without it being hard?
How to choose courage without it being hard?

We need to find ways to do important things without it being hard. That is the real accomplishment.

COPYRIGHT 2018-2020 BY DWIGHT GOLDWINDE