Remove eleven things to do

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Are you gun-shy about "adding one more thing to do" 

Many of us are. Within the default context of how you've designed your life, adding one more thing that you should do, need to do, or have to do seems too much. Your plate is already overflowing and it seems irresponsible, not to mention almost impossible, to add one more thing. Especially if that thing doesn't occur as urgent.

What is that default context that your everyday life has been shaped and dominated by?

Two related contexts.

 

More accomplishment is better. You believe that the more you can do, the more you can accomplish, the more you can get what you want, the greater and the happier you will be.

Looking good to others. You believe that the more you can do, the more you can accomplish, the more you can do things for others, the better you will look to others, as well as to yourself.

More is better

Given the context that more is better, you try to crowd more and more things onto your plate and you become gun-shy about adding anything more that doesn't occur as urgent or "essential."

Is deciding to do 14:24 adding one more thing to do?

For many, deciding to do 14:24, or to even be consistent in doing it, seems like adding "one more thing to do."

Within the context of "more is better," that makes a lot of sense. But outside of that dysfunctional context, the opposite is true. 

Doing 14:24 is about ending those endless skirmishes and battles of that civil war inside of you, which will free up your life as well as your time.

Removing eleven things to do

Step by step, learning to create more peace between your Now and your Next, your Oneself and your Others through 14:24, all those extra things you "had to do" to continue in those civil war battles, all those extra things you "had to do" to deal with the damage caused by those battles, will begin to be removed from the things to did before.

The freedom and flexibility that begins to appear in your life as you end your civil war and build up your integrity makes the expression "removing eleven things to do" a gross understatement.

Here are just two possible examples to illustrate this point.

Creating Now-Next Integrity for John regarding money

One of the expressions of John's civil war between his Now and his Next is about money. His Now wants to satisfy himself by buying this or buying that, putting another thing on the credit card or on an installment plan. Also, when his Next suggests they look at the big picture of how they might work their way out of their hand-to-mouth money predicament, Now doesn't want to face the fear associated with doing that.

His Next is able to wrest some control in their battles against each other by insisting that they stay in a job they're not enjoying and even take on working overtime to try to begin to just keep up with the interest charges on the debt they've incurred.

Regardless, when John insists on doing 14:24 each day and he learns how to create peace and cooperation between his Now and his Next, they will start to cooperate in how to work together so they can both be happy regarding money. This will naturally, over time, free up time and resources that John didn't have before.

Creating Oneself-Others Integrity for Jill regarding her son

One of the expressions of Jill's civil war between her Oneself and her Others is in her relationship with her 28-year-old son, Henry. Her Others often gives into his requests and demands for some extra paying-the-rent money as well being on-call as a babysitter for her son's two daughters. Her Oneself often feels put upon and resentful, but most often gives in out of fear of feeling guilty and thinking that rescuing her son is something she should do and has to do. She has no idea how to take care of herself and deal with her son's expectations and what she thinks she has to do. Consequently, she's often over extended and it's difficult to plan anything without it getting messed up.

Regardless, as Jill does 14:24 each day, she learns, step by step, how to create peace and cooperation between her Oneself and her Others. She learns how to fulfill on her #1 job, which is to take care of herself and, at the same time, do the best possible by her son and his two girls. This includes having a relationship with him where she doesn't feel put upon or resentful. She also feels no guilt and she doesn't think she should be doing something that she can't do and still take care of herself.

She frees up more time and has more flexibility. She's able to make prudent plans for herself and follow through on them.

Remove a thousand things to do

Unlike most other things that you might want, like, or need to add to the things you are doing, 14:24 is "removing," in a very good way, not "adding." 

To say that you can't make the time to do 14:24 is not true. What's true is that you cannot not make the time to do 14:24.

Whatever else you may drop off your plate or let drop through the cracks, don't do that to 14:24. Don't do that to yourself.

How much time could you "save"?

That depends on how bad your civil war currently is.

Take the four tests at Quizzing for Life and Fun, or just the 2nd and 3rd one, to save a little time. The extent that your EQ score on any of these tests is lower than 95 indicates how much of a civil war you have and much you could free up your time and your life.

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