AskDwightHow.org 365/24/7
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Undoing Busyness
When the facts are…
“I’ve over promised to myself and others and have no reason to believe I’m going to stop doing that.”
or
“There is always more to do and things that need to be done, and I have not seriously questioned my belief that there is no other option but to keep doing them.”
or
“I’ve got too much on my plate right now and I’m not willing to take anything off. In addition, I’m lying to myself when I think it’s going to be different in the future.”
or
“I have obligations to others that I am unwilling to seriously question. Also, I am unwilling to consider canceling or renegotiating agreements I have with others that are costing me more than the benefits.”
or
“I’m unwilling to seriously question my belief that I cannot say ‘no’ to others and I cannot keep good boundaries that would be needed to prioritize taking care of myself.”
or
“Somehow I should be able to get more things done than I do, and I just have to keep trying.”
or
“I believe that it’s impossible to enjoy the process of my life now and I just have to get through this stuff now and then down the road a bit I can begin to live the way I want.”
or
“I am unwilling to seriously consider prioritizing consistently the everyday process and journey over any getting any particular result in the everyday design and implementation of my life.”
or
“I am unwilling to seriously consider consistently recognizing and prioritizing that my number one job in life is to take care of myself.”
or
“When things do not go as expected, planned, or intended, I often indulge in the belief that it should not have happened, and I am unwilling to immediately adjust my new plans and intentions to the new reality.”
…then, instead of thinking or speaking these more honest assessments, we think to ourselves or say to others,
“I’m busy,”
“Sorry, I’m too busy.”
“There’s too much to do.”
“I’ve got to …”
“Maybe next time.”
​
Honorable expressions?
These expressions almost sound honorable. “Being busy” makes us sound important or productive or having a valid excuse not to consider new invitations, requests, or opportunities.
“Being busy” is the modern-day, sounding-good way we try to convince ourselves and others that we’re doing all we can and should do when the fact is more likely that we’re consistently allowing the “urgent” or “looking good” to push aside our most important task of designing and choosing our life. This means the prioritization of loving the everyday, hour-by-hour journey of our lives and prioritizing our #1 job of taking care of ourselves.
When others tell me “I’m busy,” I often ask them, “Are you busy in a way that you want to continue being busy this way?”, the answer is almost always “no.”
When others ask me, “Are you busy?” I reply, “I am leisurely busy.”
How about you?
Busy, as often used, is a toxic word.
Undoing busyness
“Being busy” is a deep-seated chronic habit, with many short-term payoffs.
Visit one or more of these suites as places to start and continue on into the process of dismantling your toxic busyness.
"Busy" is your problem (video)
De-prioritize results for more results
Do you know that one day has 24 hours?
"How to plan to get it all done" (video)
"I am too busy" (video)
