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Distinctions, Principles, and Tools

Distinctions

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“I know you think you understand what you thought I said,

but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

—Robert McCloskey

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Open this door to explore the full set of distinctions that we refined or created in the Word Repair Shop. Below are a few of them.

 

Principles

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  • Accept that everyone's choices (including yours) are not right or wrong, not good or bad, but have costs, benefits, risks, and possibilities, for themselves and for others, both short-term and long-term. See BeCoPoRiNNOO.

  • Avoid toxic words like good, bad, right, wrong, fair, unfair, difficult, obligation, not good enough, should, and shouldn’t?

  • Be hard on problems, but soft on people.

  • Be 100% responsible.

  • Be your own best friend. Give yourself admiration, compassion, and understanding.

  • Bring yourself to now.

  • Bring play, adventure, curiosity, and gratitude to each moment of my day.

  • Choose courage to let go of defensiveness. Notice that there is nothing to defend.

  • Choose courage to let go of expectations.

  • Choose courage to live a life true to yourself, not what others expect (if there is a conflict).

  • Choose courage (if necessary) to make requests.

  • Choose courage (if necessary) to say "no".

  • Choose courage (if necessary) to keep good boundaries with others so that you're taking care of yourself in your relationship with them.

  • Choose courage (if necessary) to be more authentic and self-expressed.

  • Choose courage (if necessary) to shut up when it would be best to shut up.

  • Choose courage (if necessary) to prioritize enjoying the process needed to get whatever result(s) that your Next wants.

  • Choose courage (if necessary) to accept that others may sometimes be upset with you.

  • Do the difficult first.

  • Everything that happens in your life is either a gift or a potential gift. Always look for that.

  • Happiness is the ultimate purpose for every action you take.

  • How are you currently fighting with reality (if you are suffering)?

  • How can your Now and Next both be happy?

  • How can your Now enjoy the process of moving towards what your Next wants?

  • How can your SelfCare and the SelfCare of another fit together?

  • Kids and cats as your best teachers. Look for ways to learn from them.

  • Listen first, understand first; speak second, try to be understood second.

  • Look for and discover the benefits behind any behavior that occurs as negative.

  • Lower your standards (as a method for both Now and Next to be happy)

  • Maintain buffers in your life, especially time and money buffers.

  • Notice a soul-to-soul connection with each person in your life.

  • Put on new glasses (create better interpretations).

  • Remember that whatever others do, they are just trying to take care of themselves the best they know how.

  • Remember that, after breathing, getting enough sleep and staying well rested is your #1 life priority (this follows from happiness being everyone's life purpose).

  • Remember to maximize the source of your calories (at least 90%) from eating whole, unprocessed, plant foods (greens, beans, grains, seeds, fruits, berries, root vegetables, nuts, mushrooms, fungus, seaweeds, teas, coffees, spices, nutritional yeast, algae, and bee pollen)?

  • Show respect to yourself, your friends, your colleagues, your reports, your boss, and your family members?

  • Underpromise to yourself and to others.

  • Use the Partnership Conversation in circumstances where there is an upset or potential upset with another.

  • Watch the machinery of your mind with compassion and curiosity, knowing that you are not your machinery.

  • You are the final judge for any choice you make or don't make.

  • Your #1 job in life is to take care of yourself.

Tools (techniques)

 

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